Am I there yet?

I constantly feel like I’m waiting for something. Waiting for my house to sell. Waiting to get to move out of MIL’s house. Waiting for my work day to end so I can get home to my babies. Waiting to be settled in a new house and get on with our life. Waiting to find out where that new house will be so I can start researching schools and activites. I can’t stand this limbo we’re always in. I know what I want to do, I’ve always known what I wanted to do. And I let other people’s ideas of what I “should” do get in the way. I’ve always known I love babies, and little kids. Once I knew I had to have a job when I grew up I decided it would be with kids. And sure, working in a daycare may not be the highest paying job in the world, but if you’re doing what you love, what you want to do, money isn’t the only thing that matters. Instead, I believed I should do something “more” because I was told I should. And now that I’m a mom, I’m so jealous of those who get to spend all day with my kids, while I do something “more.” And while we live in this stupid limbo land that I hate, I can’t even make a change. And I just can’t wait til this horrible chapter in our lives ends. Or my workday today, I can’t wait to pick up my minis and head to the zoo tonight! We are long overdue for a trip to see all the animals they love.

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