“The key to keeping your balance is knowing when you’ve lost it.”

An anonymous quote to start out a Monday.  Seems fitting, after this weekend I know I’ve lost it.  Always too much to do, to many places to go.  The sheets need changing and the kids need baths, but I don’t get to see friends often enough so we stayed away too long.  I guess we’ll just fit it all tonight, somehow.  The kids get to go buy their first car tonight, too🙂

I’M BACK!

Where have I been?  Just getting settled in the house I waited all year to find.  And within days, it felt like home.  Unfortunately, the other half had to leave for a work trip immediately after moving all our stuff in.  It was chaos, close on Friday, move everything on Saturday, unpack like crazy people on Sunday, and Monday, boom!  Gone for 4 weeks.  And the kids were sick, I was sick.  Chaos!  Seems like that’s what keeps up going these days.  Which is good, since it’s only gotten worse. But having our own space again🙂  There aren’t words to say how happy I am to have my own space again.  And the kids love having bedrooms with toys to play in.  They even occupy themselves sometimes.  For about 5 minutes.  Now if it would just get nice outside, so we could enjoy all the land we bought.  I’m so over this winter, which brings with it a new cold, sickness, or flu at least once a week.  It’s pretty bad when you consider one week without a trip to the ped’s office a win.  Soon, soon.  And I’ll be spending every second I can researching natural immune boosters in the meantime.

I’ll be back again soon!

10 More Days

10 more days til I have my own house again.  I hate using the word literally, but literally, I can’t wait.  T keeps telling me all I do lately is complain.  Well, I think he’s right.  The waiting to be in my own space again is killing me.  I can’t wait to get away from it, and get settled.  I miss my usual sunshine-y self🙂  At least, that’s how I think I usually am.  We’ll see what happens when I’m back in my own space all alone with the kids.

I got to have my first parent/teacher conference last night.  I had no clue what to expect from a conference about a 3 yr old.  I was a little worried she might tell me that Doodle swears all day!  But no, she had amazing things to say. My kid is smart, showing lots of progress, loves art and helping other kids.  When there’s someone filling in, Doodle is their go to for questions.  Woohoo.  I’m doing something right, and at least it’s for the little people.  Tonight I’m going to take just her out for a little shopping.  Even if it’s only for supplies for my new cranberry recipe for the holiday, she’ll dig the one on one time, and I will too.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

18 More Days!

18 more days til I own a house I can live in again!  I still own a house, but other people live in it and love it (I hope!) 19 more days til I sleep in my own bed in my own room next to my own bathroom with my own kitchen and my own food and not having to question what I can or can’t cook with.  Holy run on sentence, can you read the excitement in those words??

Let it Go!

We want the song in your phone! Sing it, sing it! NO, MOMMY ALL THE WORDS!! Not just the ones you know, all of them!! Cuz everyone knows all the words to Let it Go when you have a 3 year old daughter in the house. Shouldn’t she know all the words better than I do? No, because she’s scared of Elsa’s face. Really? Does my backseat have a mute button? These little cuties who know seem to know all kids of songs that I didn’t teach them have zero desire to sing those songs to me, they want me to serenade them. How does that work? Aren’t they supposed to want to show off all the fun new stuff they learned that day? No, those moments are saved for later and become underwear free, twirling serenades that don’t start until after bedtime. And I love it! Somedays I love those crazy moments that happen after I think bedtime should have, because I missed all the daytime stuff. It’s my extra sneaked in minutes, and although I’m not happy everytime it happens, I need to try harder for those times. They are getting so big so fast. I don’t want to miss any more of it!

Thankful

I feel very negative these days, so much is going on that is out of my control and I don’t deal well with that. But I need to figure out how to channel that into something productive instead of just getting bummed out. I just read the latest post on lusaorganics.typepad.com, and I feel inspired – to start every week with a list of what I’m thankful for. She posted 7, let’s see what I can come up with. Maybe one week will only have 1 thing, maybe too many to list! So here’s the start:

1. Of course I’m starting with my kids!
2. T
3. kid language. I love hearing words like lickorlish and michaelhichael
4. morning snuggles, when I’m awake and they’re still both sleeping
5. A great daycare, so I don’t have to worry about my kids while we work

And, of course, just thinking about work has me getting down again, as I’d rather be at home hearing those crazy kid words, so I think I’ll quit while I’m ahead (mostly) 🙂

Am I there yet?

I constantly feel like I’m waiting for something. Waiting for my house to sell. Waiting to get to move out of MIL’s house. Waiting for my work day to end so I can get home to my babies. Waiting to be settled in a new house and get on with our life. Waiting to find out where that new house will be so I can start researching schools and activites. I can’t stand this limbo we’re always in. I know what I want to do, I’ve always known what I wanted to do. And I let other people’s ideas of what I “should” do get in the way. I’ve always known I love babies, and little kids. Once I knew I had to have a job when I grew up I decided it would be with kids. And sure, working in a daycare may not be the highest paying job in the world, but if you’re doing what you love, what you want to do, money isn’t the only thing that matters. Instead, I believed I should do something “more” because I was told I should. And now that I’m a mom, I’m so jealous of those who get to spend all day with my kids, while I do something “more.” And while we live in this stupid limbo land that I hate, I can’t even make a change. And I just can’t wait til this horrible chapter in our lives ends. Or my workday today, I can’t wait to pick up my minis and head to the zoo tonight! We are long overdue for a trip to see all the animals they love.

Monday again

We had such a fun weekend, Little Man turned 2 yesterday. Already! I don’t have babies anymore, they are so grown up. He sings songs, he knows his ABC’s, sort of🙂 He’s becoming very independent. And then Festa all day yesterday, playing in the sun and the splash pad, eating everything in sight! And then Monday morning had to come. Some mornings are harder than others. I wake up, snuggled on both sides by small, sweaty clingy bodies. Those are my favorites minutes in the day. When it’s just me and my babies, snuggled together, both still asleep. But today, all I wanted was to stay there and hold them. I managed to drag myself out of bed, and get myself ready to leave them. And I hate it. More and more with every day that goes by, I want to be at home with them. I want to hang out all day and sing the itty ‘pider song, play outside, splash in a pool and ride bikes and make lunch and just be there with them. Because they are growing up so fast and I’m missing it. I feel like I’m missing it all.

What next?

Luckily, my bad day yesterday slowly improved. Not a perfect day, but ended on a better note than it began. But, I noticed Little Man’s ear was kinda gross after I picked them up at daycare. The last time it looked like that he had ruptured an ear drum because of an ear infection I didn’t even know he had. Tough kid! After a trip to the doc today, I find out the same thing, ruptured ear drum, and an infection in the other one. Completely understand the up all night thing from the other night, now😦 So, tomorrow a trip to the ENT to discuss tubes. We’ve never even been in the ER, and I am about to discuss surgery? Scary!

Is it over yet?

Today just may be the worst day of the summer so far. The minis did not sleep last night, so unusual for them these days. After being at a training class last night, nothing was where it belonged this morning, because I wasn’t there to keep track of it all. My only sports related shirt has a hole in it and was required for jeans today. And jeans were necessary after only 3 hours of sleep! I left the house with the wrong shoes on again, because I was distracted by yelling at a poor kid who just wanted her sweatshirt on. We were late, like we are every day, and of course today the car seat straps on Little Man’s seat were stuck in the back. Daycare tells me I owe more for next week than I should. And I’ll have to drive out of my way to have the car seat checked out. Crap to today, I say. I’m looking forward to smiling faces, a long slow walk through Costco tonight, and a beer. Hope your day goes better than mine!